The weight of the night leaned heavily on my shoulders. With a foggy mind, all I could do was let out a deep sigh to remind my furniture that I was present. It was a sigh of anger and bitterness; a set of emotions directed towards myself for tolerating behaviour I should have condemned. My tolerance has shown me how I am my own worst enemy.
As time eased off into the night, I placed my dilemma under a microscope. I discovered that it was a sad case of me offering the benefit of the doubt to a perpetrator who benefited from the doubt.
The situation turned out to be no more than a self-centred, egotistical person parading as a rainbow with all the beautiful colours. But just like every rainbow, they had a short-lived beauty that could only be seen from afar and never touched. What is the point of beauty if it’s temporary? Aside from, perhaps, to be enjoyed in the moment. Rainbows don’t shine forever. Unfortunately, I admired the scarlet sparkles in the red, the peachness of the orange, the sunniness of the yellow, and how the green, blue, indigo and violet stacked atop each other in symmetrical enchantment.
I extended an olive branch by smiling to the tone of their voice, but it was pruned of its goodness when I was short-changed by a person I considered a friend.
I am the problem. I blame myself for allowing an unworthy individual to gain a glimpse of my guarded space – one that I have strenuously protected.
They say, “When a person shows you who they are, believe them.” But alas, being a firm believer in hope, I held on and believed in the ability of people to change. Unfortunately, this came round to bite me as I had to face myself for letting my space be raided.
“You are a good person.”
“You are amazing.”
“Oh, you are extraordinary.”
Praises laced in venom may taste like sweet wine till they leave you comatose on the floor.
The accolades poured down like Gaily’s rainstorm.
The holes in the honours were like that of a swiss roll. The mere thought of it made me feel groggy.
As the tributes continued to spray, again like a rainbow, it now seems so far-fetched. All it is after all a temporal fantasy.
Being let down can be like a horrible dream in the middle of the night, or a horror movie seen in the dark. It’s like a poorly performed stage play which incorporates unseen characters.
As the stage lights come up, the room is quiet, with no clapping. The performance is not worth a penny.